The past 48 hours have brought about a lot of change. I’m not a huge fan of change. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like suspense. I don’t like feeling out of control over my life and situations.
I attended a faculty meeting yesterday, wherein we found out who the new principal would be for the 2019-2020 school year. We were told that three current APs would be remaining, with the other two or three to be named at a later date.
On top of all of the changes in the front office for next year, we’re losing the guidance director to another school and three counselors to retirement. Who knows how many teachers will retire or leave. This is what happened at Columbine – there was huge turnover within five years of the event. This seems to be what’s happening to us.
I hate that eventually MSD will be a school I don’t recognize. There will be few faculty/staff who were there, and the students will have all cycled out. Who will be left to “get it”? Who will be left to fight for us? Who will be left who understands that we’re more than a trivia question, more than a footnote in a history textbook?
I don’t like feeling like I can’t control the things going on around me. I’ve always been this way, long before Feb. 14. I’m very Type A. I need to know what’s going on, be able to assess a situation, understand the cause and effect, understand the rationale behind a decision, policy, etc.
There are days that I just wish things could go back to the way things were on Feb. 13, 2018. I know that they can’t. I know now that we lived in a false sense of security. I know that even though now is difficult, we’ll get through it and come out on the other side. I know that the person I am now isn’t entirely who I was on Feb. 13. I just hope that with all of the changes going on around me, that I don’t lose who I am; I don’t want to get so wrapped up in the daily nonsense and lose sight of the big picture. Sometimes it’s easier to bury your head in the sand than deal with things that make you nervous, anxious and uncomfortable. I don’t like change.